The American Parenting Style in "The Thing Around Your Neck"

In The Thing Around Your Neck, Adichie explores a deep contrast between Nigerian and American culture. In America, rich people were thin and poor people were fat. In America, people overshared about family issues. However, it was much the opposite in Nigeria. Adichie stated that life in the United States was “cushioned by so much convenience that it is sterile” (Adichie, 67). In the chapter “On Monday of Last Week,” Adichie reveals differences in parenting styles. Kamara found parenting in America to be unusual and frustrating because, although parents can be almost entirely absent in a child’s life, American parents can still praise themselves for raising great kids. In America, parents talk about all of the sacrifices they make for their children, yet many have another person raise their child “as if caring for one’s child were the exception rather than the rule” (82).

Kamara also found it baffling that she would be paid three dollars extra for cooking dinner for Josh. In America, cooking dinner was a “sanitized string of actions” (82). In Nigeria, cooking meals was much more burdensome. Nonetheless, because Kamara and Josh shared several meals together, they developed a closer relationship — perhaps closer than the relationship Josh had with his own father, Neil. In school, Josh’s class had been working on Shabbat cards to give to special family members. Instead of addressing the card to his father, the card read, “Kamara, I’m glad we are family” (90). (This ties back to my previous blog post about meals and communion). Although Josh and Neil were family by blood, Kamara was Josh’s true family.